My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
