Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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