I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
