but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
