and she was petting her beer can
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
