Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
