sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
