Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
