Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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