just come out here and I will go home with you...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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