I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
