More tranny stories later!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
