Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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