We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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