More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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