i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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