The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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