my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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