i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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