after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
