My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm having to shit out rocks
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