Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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