letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
