new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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