stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
