listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
