Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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