i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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