She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
