where am i from again
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
