yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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