the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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