Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
