i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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