Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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