dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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