Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
