Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
