My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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