Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
