he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
