talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
