that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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