Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Randomize
