i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
