i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
