We're facebook friends in real life
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she peed on how many people?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
