dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
