Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I intend to get homeless drunk
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
