I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
