11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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