oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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