Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
How's work?
Spinning.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
