I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
