So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
