Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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